Success as a career

Writing has always come naturally to me. I used to write down my thoughts in a miniature notebook as I assumed they were poetic. I even wrote a book in the seventh grade that remains unfinished to this day. Writing is a talent I can count on. In my darkest times I open my laptop and just start typing. I picture myself traveling the world, working on my novel whenever inspiration strikes me. However, my interests are shifting, and I no longer consider this my only career possibility. 

As the years went on, I surrounded myself with new people. My best friend and I fell in love with fashion. I tore pages from every Vogue magazine I got and taped them to my walls. I asked my grandmother to teach me how to sew and made outfits in my free time. Fashion was it for me. My freshman year I planned to go to fashion school, and that summer I even visited Parsons and the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. I soon found fashion unpredictable. The more I started questioning it the more I fell out of love with it. My best friend and I separated and that was it, I was not going into fashion. 

Sophomore year I was swept off my feet by chemistry. Understanding science for the first time was overwhelming. I was amazed with its explanations about the world, and I was good at it. It made me feel smart and special because I easily understood something that many in my class struggled with. Chemistry is a bright light in my future. My family would be so proud, so I have decided on my college major and have applied to work in a lab for the summer. Chemistry seemed perfect until the reason I loved it became the reason I feared it. It is harder now, and as time passes, I spend more and more time trying to understand a topic. Once I do, I would gladly offer my free time to solve equations, but I have so much doubt. With every new topic I doubt that I can do it at all. I doubt that I can continue this into college and my career.  

I also have little dreams like being a podcaster or a producer. I’ve made a podcast and tried making music, but neither stuck. I’ve dreamed of flinging myself into the creative world and painting whatever I see. I’ve also dreamed of being a photographer and traveling the world. 

Whatever I do, I want to be successful at it. I want to be so successful that people recognize me for it. I want to see jealousy poured over the faces of people and want them to idolize me because I’ve put everything I’ve got into my career. But which one will cause that look on people’s faces? Which one will put me on a pedestal for the world to see? Which one will make my family proud?  

I have yet to figure it out, but when I do, I am going to give it everything.